It’s a question I hear more often than you’d think, and one that’s getting harder for many Canadian families to answer.
You’re approaching retirement with reasonable confidence. Your mortgage is manageable, your investments are in motion, and your TFSA has some breathing room.
Then your adult child comes to you, hopeful, maybe a little desperate. Asking for help with a down payment.
You have $30,000 in your TFSA.
They need $20,000.
DO YOU HELP? OR HOLD BACK?
The Emotional Pull
As a parent, your instinct is to help. Especially if you’re in a position to do so. You want your child to get ahead, avoid stress, and maybe even start a family of their own in a stable home.
And if you’ve built your own financial foundation, it can feel like it’s your turn to support them.
But here’s the catch: that $20,000 might mean something very different for your future than theirs.
The Financial Reality Check
Let’s look at both sides.
Helping your child:
• Provides emotional and financial support when they may need it most
• Gives them a potential leg up in a difficult housing market
• Could strengthen your family bond (though it can also introduce tension)
The risk:
• You may need to push back your retirement date or reduce flexibility later
• The money leaves your TFSA, so you lose tax-free growth on it
• It could disrupt your investment timeline or liquidity cushion
So, What’s the Right Move?
The truth is, there is no one right answer, but there is a right approach.
Here’s how I recommend navigating it:
1. Run the numbers first. Can your plan absorb the hit?
2. Don’t give money you may need back. Gifts are best when they’re just that, gifts.
3. Consider partial help or conditional support. For example: matching what your child saves, or helping with a smaller portion.
4. Protect your retirement first. You can borrow for a house. You can’t borrow for retirement.
5. Make it part of your plan. This kind of gift should be factored into your financial strategy, not pulled out of the air.
Want to Talk It Through?
If you’re wrestling with this decision or want to make sure your generosity doesn’t come at the cost of your future, I’d be happy to help you weigh the options.
